¡Dios Les Bendiga!
God Bless you!
Friday, 2 March 2012
I'm Home!
Just a super quick and short post just letting you all know that I'm safe at home. These past two weeks have been amazing, difficult yet still very encouraging. We arrived home yesterday and we have finally had a moment to breath and rest for a little while - so I'm holding off on the complete post about the trip probably until about tuesday once I catch up on a few things and have the ability to kind of put in to words what I want to illustrate for you all about our adventure in God's work. So thank you to all who prayed for us while we were down there, thank you to those who supported me financially...I can't wait to tell you all what happened!!! (There's a little suspense for you all!)
Monday, 13 February 2012
Perfect love casts out fear
I would be comfortable, uncomfortably comfortable.
This was my response to a questioned posed to me about prayer: If every prayer that I had prayed in the past week came true, what would happen? Would the world dramatically change? Would people turn towards God? Would the evil in human hearts diminish and compassion put in its place?
Nope. Instead it would be me that would be the comfortable one.
This is something that I've been chewing over for a while now and realized that I feel more connected to God's global mission when I chose to pray for things that don't involve me at all, or some things that I don't fully comprehend. Trying to see the world in the way that Christ would see it has proven a lot more difficult than I had anticipated and much more heart-breaking than I realized it would be. I'm a part of this broken world, I'm human and I make mistakes, I'm stubborn and I hate change, I find forgiveness hard and the healing process even harder. A song called, "Jesus, Friend of sinners" and has a line in the lyrics that goes: "Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers". I find myself quick to judge someone and then slow to realize how blatantly I've disregarded their life not to be a life that God is working in too.
But once again, God is patiently waiting for me. He's got His hand out, ready to show me the different things that I would miss if I continued to be as arrogant as I deem myself to be. For example, this past friday I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to go to our youth group that night. I was using the excuses that I was worn down from Camp and Youth Ministry class that we'd just wrapped up and that no one would be there anyways and that it just wouldn't be a success because we had absolutely nothing planned.
For you see, the previous week for youth, we brought nerf guns and had a nerf gun war. The three of us leaders thought that this would be the best thing ever, but our two guys thought otherwise seeing as they got bored within the first hour. It's been a struggle having only 2 guys who are very much ADD in the youth group because we're limited to so little, but it was this friday night that God gave me a little kick in the pants and showed me how funny He really can be when I choose to be stubborn.
We had settled on watching a movie (lamest plan ever, but we were desperate!) and set out to Lake Cowichan Baptist church. However, on the way there we drove by a firehall - we drive by this firehall every time, but it was this time that Nancy had the brilliant idea that we should ask if we could have a tour! Pretty exciting stuff, till we found out that the Chief was in Victoria and couldn't give us a tour, but now we have his email address and an invitation to visit again...that's going to be one awesome youth night :) Anyways, so we're now at church waiting for the boys and we're back to square zero of having an adventurous night.
Yet the unexpected happened. The boys came in and the mom was talking about a medical emergency that they had to attend to before coming here. Worried I asked what happened and Nate, the younger of the two (he's 14 I believe) revealed the evidence in a small tupperware container: 3 premature baby mice. Yep, 3 premature baby mice - you read that right. Apparently one of their cats killed a pregnant mouse and he realized that the babies could still be saved so he performed a c-section on the dead mother mouse with a kitchen knife (yep you're also reading this right!) and actually managed to get them out and save them.
They were so tiny and helpless, you could actually see their beating hearts through the skin! Nancy and Jon apparently were thinking that they wouldn't make it through to the end of the night, but I was hoping for a little more. It wasn't until Nate said that He prayed to Jesus that He would save them did I pray a little more earnestly that they wouldn't die - seeing as I didn't feel that I should be the one to talk about death and life to him. But I also felt myself praying for something different here, I was praying that God would speak to Nate through these 3 babies and that I could be there to help him if I could.
So we googled how to take care of premature mice and set out to make them more warmer and did the little that we could with the resources that we had available. Throughout the night as we were watching the movie I kept noticing how attentive Nate was to the mice and how much he wanted to make sure that they were ok. What also surprised me was that those 3 mice started moving and squeaking, there was one mouse in particular which I thought was the weakest one but he was the first to make a sound and moved the most which I thought was remarkable.
By the end of the night I was basically speechless with what God had taught me. While I was stubborn in my unwillingness to go, I discovered a gift that God would teach me only through someone like Nate:
There is hope. Hope is never lost. By the end of the night I thought that those mice could make it at least through the first night maybe even the weekend - they could experience life and compassion from a boy all the more willing to care for them. I knew Nate was a sweet kid but I hadn't been expecting something so profound to come from such an incident as a cat killing a mouse. He took the time to notice and was able to keep life going.
Another thing that struck me led me back to Matthew 6:26. If God cares for the tiniest of mice,
how much more therefore are we?
God is so good! In so many ways, and also currently in preparation for our missions trip. Recently I've been expressing my fear to God about Mexico and not feeling that I can do this at all. Thankfully God has assured me that I can't do it at all...fantastic (there was a little bit of a sarcastic ring to that when I figured that out.), yet He told me to not fear. 1 John 4:18 talks about perfect love casting out fear. I realized that I hadn't been relying enough on Him and His perfect love in my life, and now that I am beginning to understand, I'm currently trying to figure out how to let go entirely of myself and cling to God...I let you know what happens if I can.
How much more therefore...
This was my response to a questioned posed to me about prayer: If every prayer that I had prayed in the past week came true, what would happen? Would the world dramatically change? Would people turn towards God? Would the evil in human hearts diminish and compassion put in its place?
Nope. Instead it would be me that would be the comfortable one.
This is something that I've been chewing over for a while now and realized that I feel more connected to God's global mission when I chose to pray for things that don't involve me at all, or some things that I don't fully comprehend. Trying to see the world in the way that Christ would see it has proven a lot more difficult than I had anticipated and much more heart-breaking than I realized it would be. I'm a part of this broken world, I'm human and I make mistakes, I'm stubborn and I hate change, I find forgiveness hard and the healing process even harder. A song called, "Jesus, Friend of sinners" and has a line in the lyrics that goes: "Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers". I find myself quick to judge someone and then slow to realize how blatantly I've disregarded their life not to be a life that God is working in too.
But once again, God is patiently waiting for me. He's got His hand out, ready to show me the different things that I would miss if I continued to be as arrogant as I deem myself to be. For example, this past friday I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to go to our youth group that night. I was using the excuses that I was worn down from Camp and Youth Ministry class that we'd just wrapped up and that no one would be there anyways and that it just wouldn't be a success because we had absolutely nothing planned.
For you see, the previous week for youth, we brought nerf guns and had a nerf gun war. The three of us leaders thought that this would be the best thing ever, but our two guys thought otherwise seeing as they got bored within the first hour. It's been a struggle having only 2 guys who are very much ADD in the youth group because we're limited to so little, but it was this friday night that God gave me a little kick in the pants and showed me how funny He really can be when I choose to be stubborn.
We had settled on watching a movie (lamest plan ever, but we were desperate!) and set out to Lake Cowichan Baptist church. However, on the way there we drove by a firehall - we drive by this firehall every time, but it was this time that Nancy had the brilliant idea that we should ask if we could have a tour! Pretty exciting stuff, till we found out that the Chief was in Victoria and couldn't give us a tour, but now we have his email address and an invitation to visit again...that's going to be one awesome youth night :) Anyways, so we're now at church waiting for the boys and we're back to square zero of having an adventurous night.
Yet the unexpected happened. The boys came in and the mom was talking about a medical emergency that they had to attend to before coming here. Worried I asked what happened and Nate, the younger of the two (he's 14 I believe) revealed the evidence in a small tupperware container: 3 premature baby mice. Yep, 3 premature baby mice - you read that right. Apparently one of their cats killed a pregnant mouse and he realized that the babies could still be saved so he performed a c-section on the dead mother mouse with a kitchen knife (yep you're also reading this right!) and actually managed to get them out and save them.
They were so tiny and helpless, you could actually see their beating hearts through the skin! Nancy and Jon apparently were thinking that they wouldn't make it through to the end of the night, but I was hoping for a little more. It wasn't until Nate said that He prayed to Jesus that He would save them did I pray a little more earnestly that they wouldn't die - seeing as I didn't feel that I should be the one to talk about death and life to him. But I also felt myself praying for something different here, I was praying that God would speak to Nate through these 3 babies and that I could be there to help him if I could.
So we googled how to take care of premature mice and set out to make them more warmer and did the little that we could with the resources that we had available. Throughout the night as we were watching the movie I kept noticing how attentive Nate was to the mice and how much he wanted to make sure that they were ok. What also surprised me was that those 3 mice started moving and squeaking, there was one mouse in particular which I thought was the weakest one but he was the first to make a sound and moved the most which I thought was remarkable.
By the end of the night I was basically speechless with what God had taught me. While I was stubborn in my unwillingness to go, I discovered a gift that God would teach me only through someone like Nate:
There is hope. Hope is never lost. By the end of the night I thought that those mice could make it at least through the first night maybe even the weekend - they could experience life and compassion from a boy all the more willing to care for them. I knew Nate was a sweet kid but I hadn't been expecting something so profound to come from such an incident as a cat killing a mouse. He took the time to notice and was able to keep life going.
Another thing that struck me led me back to Matthew 6:26. If God cares for the tiniest of mice,
how much more therefore are we?
God is so good! In so many ways, and also currently in preparation for our missions trip. Recently I've been expressing my fear to God about Mexico and not feeling that I can do this at all. Thankfully God has assured me that I can't do it at all...fantastic (there was a little bit of a sarcastic ring to that when I figured that out.), yet He told me to not fear. 1 John 4:18 talks about perfect love casting out fear. I realized that I hadn't been relying enough on Him and His perfect love in my life, and now that I am beginning to understand, I'm currently trying to figure out how to let go entirely of myself and cling to God...I let you know what happens if I can.
How much more therefore...
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Prayer
Hey everyone!!
Haven't heard from me in a while and I apologize, I keeping meaning to, but as I've learned: sometimes just having the intentions doesn't mean that it's going to get done so I'm making myself sit just for a moment or two.
Things have been as they have almost always been basically since the beginning of the program, busy. I don't mind it at all, in fact I quite enjoy it now --- it keeps me, well, busy (I know, I'm just so original in my word choice!) it gives me a glimpse of how reality is and how I desperately need discipline in order to get things done. And to start off the month of February I've decided to do a "1,000". I heard about this through Erin, our Assistant Kaleo leader that some people she knew would do a thousand push-ups in a month, a thousand…(you fill in the blanks). There was one guy who decided to do 1,000 prayers in one month and this was something that peaked my interest, because I know that my prayer life was lacking when it should be the strongest discipline that I have because it's my conversation with God. So I decided that this month of February, the month of missions (We had theology of missions class, we went to missions fest, and are going on a 2 week missions trip in 8 days) I would attempt at this 1,000 prayers in 29 days. And so far I haven't really been super successful (oh dear, my poor intentions!!). However I've come to learn the immense value of prayers and how much more quickly I resort to speaking to God wherever I am - while eating, reading, just getting out of bed, having a conversation or just doing nothing at all (when I probably should be doing homework or something along those lines…). God has been ever patient with me during this process and He's been gracious in His answer to my prayers. I'm still attempting to reach my goal by the end of the month, but I'm hoping by then that I won't even need to count, because my prayers will never cease.
As an example of an answered prayer, I know which program I am going to do at Briercrest: Christian Ministry with a concentration in Childhood studies, with a roommate who is going to be doing the exact same program as me which I find to be such an amazing gift and I can't wait… oh how God's work can be so simple but still so wondrous!! As for my summer, I will be coming home - I will not be working full-time as a core staff here at Camp Qwanoes. What lies ahead for my summer, I haven't quite figured out, but I am really looking forward to coming home and being able to see family (including Amy in June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and friends. There's a few jobs lined up so I'm just continuing to wait on God and see Him work, because I know He's the only one who will provide.
I have also mentioned going to on a missions trip in 8 days. I know I haven't spoken much about that due to the fact that I didn't even have much information, but now that it's almost here, I will be heading to Papalote, Mexico (so small you can't find it on Google maps - I tried…it doesn't even exist!! Just kidding!). Our crew, which is 8 people plus our leader are heading down to do who knows what! The schedule is extremely flexible and we are prepared to what is needed, but as of right now I will be leading one children's event (for 50-70 kids), and helping out with two other events that will be happening. We're not building anything because we've learned that Mexicans with a "bigger" or "more expensive" house actually get taxed more, so we will be doing renovations for the locals there. We're going to be staying in a local college that trains young people to be leaders and pastors and working with them to reach out to the community. I am very excited, and though I am not sure what to expect what is going to go on, I know that with whatever happens, God's got it under control - I prefer that idea over the fact of having anyone else in control!
So I'm just asking you to pray for me and my crew which includes: Kathleen, Stacey, Alisha, Michael, Keith, Trevor, Matthew and Bec our leader. Please be praying for safe travel and health. But most importantly please be praying for us as we join in God's mission for His people in Papalote, that we may find delight in whatever we do, that we will be a light while working together as the Body of Christ, showing the love of our Father to those who so desperately need it. Also, please be praying for "lighthouse ministries" (which is the organization that we will be working under while there) as they open up their ministry to us and allow us to come alongside them - please pray that we can be a blessing to them and that God will continue to provide for them in ways that even they cannot comprehend.
Time is slowly winding down here in the last 2 1/2 months of the program, and I'm looking forward to the last moments that we as a crew have together and relishing in the goodness of God in what He has for me right now through the relationships that I've developed, the lessons that I've learned and the joy that I've experienced. I love it here and I'm so thankful that I didn't miss this opportunity, so thank you to those who have continued to support me throughout my time here - God has definitely used you to speak into my life and I can only just say thanks for everything you've done.
Guess it's time to get back to paper writing...I just wanted to say thanks :)
Time is slowly winding down here in the last 2 1/2 months of the program, and I'm looking forward to the last moments that we as a crew have together and relishing in the goodness of God in what He has for me right now through the relationships that I've developed, the lessons that I've learned and the joy that I've experienced. I love it here and I'm so thankful that I didn't miss this opportunity, so thank you to those who have continued to support me throughout my time here - God has definitely used you to speak into my life and I can only just say thanks for everything you've done.
Guess it's time to get back to paper writing...I just wanted to say thanks :)
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Where I experience God's Amazing Grace
Right now I have "Beautiful Things" by Gungor on repeat and just been reflecting on God's faithfulness in my life. There's not much I can say but I'm not the way that I am on my own accord, but rather it's God who has been working in my life piece by piece and keeping my heart soft so that I may continue to grow closer to Him in His presence. No matter how far away I try to go from Him, I will always be in the palm of His hand.
I am the farthest from perfect, there are others who understand God's love and God's grace more than I, who are more bold and unashamed to proclaim what they believe and who are quicker to receive those who are considered, "unwanted". But God is not done with me yet, and I know that He will bring me to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).
This is the kind of thing that I have been learning over the past week, and I've been encouraged throughout it all.
Last week we were up on Mount. Washington spending 5 days snowboarding, snowshoeing and skiing. The first two days for me (we had a choice of which activities to do each day) was snowboarding and I was actually surprised that I was able to get off the chairlift several times without falling (unfortunately I think that I still need to work on my finesse...but let's not get too out of hand here!). That was quite fun as I was attempting to teach myself how to carve, yet I wasn't able to accomplish that particular skill during those first two days and though it resulted in quite a lot of wipeouts I fortunately was not too injured by the time wednesday rolled around. And on wednesday we went to another nearby rental place where we got our snowshoes! What's really cool about Mount Washington is that it is in the same area as Mt. Albert-Edwards - where we had our first hiking trip! So it was cool to see the mountain while we were boarding and realize how far we had come since then. So while we were shoeing around, we realized that we had hiked these trails before...only without all the snow, so that was really special for us to come back to that place as think about the growth that we've experienced throughout these past months. After that expedition, we headed back to the chalet that we were staying in and had an awesome time at chapel. What was particularly special about this night was that I was feeling quite empty - so I basically tried to ignore it and focus on how others were doing. But I know that there are times when God feels far away and yet that's when He's actually the closest, He brings those times so that we become hungry and thirsty for Him. This was one of those times where I was yearning for my cup to be filled so that I could reach to those around me. Funny thing was, during worship, "you are my all in all" was requested and in the song, these lyrics came up: "when I am dry you fill my cup". And that is exactly what God did.
So after worship, Andrew decided that the next two nights would be edifying each other and so going down the list, one by one we would sit in the middle and have people speak words of encouragement and appreciation. On wednesday night I didn't sit in the middle, but it brought me so much joy to watch each person being loved upon and having things said about them that others didn't really notice. God was truly making my heart glad and making my cup overflow! What's more, after chapel everyone headed down to have a snack, while I just sat, thanking God for His goodness -while God was telling me to go and encourage Andrew. The next thing I knew Andrew came and found me and rather than me saying what God had put on my heart, Andrew said what God had put on his heart. Andrew being a first time father expressed his desire for his baby girl to grow up to be a woman with compassion, love for God, beauty and a servant heart. "I want my daughter to be like you Marissa" is what he said to me, me:*cue the water works* (yes I did cry, a lot ). So thank you mom and dad for loving me and teaching about the love and discipline of my Father. That was a powerful night, where without any effort on my part God far surpassed everything imaginable.
So after that awesome night, thursday was next up to bat. I wasn't feeling too well but still wanted to get outside. But after a couple runs I headed back to the chalet for some rest. It was only after I had emptied my stomach was I feeling up to hang out with the others who were either injured or just not up to getting outside. I have to say I wouldn't have had those talks if I was up on the hill so I pretty excited for that though I would've loved to get outside. However thursday was another night of encouragement, which was still as good as the night before (and it was also my turn to be in the middle). And when Friday rolled around, I was super excited to be back out, especially since it was a blizzard outside which meant a ton of snow!! So to sum up the day I was actually able to carve - which turned out to be not as hard as I thought that it was, and almost went down a black diamond run rather than a green run - that could've ended much worse than it did :) But I made it out and had a blast doing it. Though we did have one major-ish injury, Tessa had wipeout pretty rough and the first aid responders weren't sure whether or not she had torn a ligament or if it was a high ankle sprain. Apparently Bec (our intern) was actually more worried than Tessa was, and Tessa wasn't actually in a ton of pain so we were pretty grateful for that. And thus after that episode, we basically packed up and headed back to camp.
And now, we've had a few days off to get started on our theology of missions homework and to recover which has been really nice because it's given us some time to really think about what's going to go on next year. It's almost set in stone, but I will be doing my B.A. in Christian Ministry with a concentration in Childhood studies at Briercrest next year - so I'm pretty pumped about that! Yet I am still working on what's going to happen during the summer, though right now I would absolutely love to stay here for 4 1/2 more months and see what God has in store for this camp but I cannot say that it is set in stone.
But what I do know it that our crew is leaving on thursday morning for the mainland to spend it at Missions Fest!! So very excited for that as we will be staying at a church and spending thursday touring around Vancouver (hmm...something that I've never done before!) and then both friday and saturday going to be filled with sessions and seminars!! So I'm looking forward to be seeing people and learning more about God's global mission...stoked!!
I think that this is all for now, adios amigos!
I am the farthest from perfect, there are others who understand God's love and God's grace more than I, who are more bold and unashamed to proclaim what they believe and who are quicker to receive those who are considered, "unwanted". But God is not done with me yet, and I know that He will bring me to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).
This is the kind of thing that I have been learning over the past week, and I've been encouraged throughout it all.
 |
| Snowshoeing |
So after worship, Andrew decided that the next two nights would be edifying each other and so going down the list, one by one we would sit in the middle and have people speak words of encouragement and appreciation. On wednesday night I didn't sit in the middle, but it brought me so much joy to watch each person being loved upon and having things said about them that others didn't really notice. God was truly making my heart glad and making my cup overflow! What's more, after chapel everyone headed down to have a snack, while I just sat, thanking God for His goodness -while God was telling me to go and encourage Andrew. The next thing I knew Andrew came and found me and rather than me saying what God had put on my heart, Andrew said what God had put on his heart. Andrew being a first time father expressed his desire for his baby girl to grow up to be a woman with compassion, love for God, beauty and a servant heart. "I want my daughter to be like you Marissa" is what he said to me, me:*cue the water works* (yes I did cry, a lot ). So thank you mom and dad for loving me and teaching about the love and discipline of my Father. That was a powerful night, where without any effort on my part God far surpassed everything imaginable.
 |
| Boarding buddies! |
And now, we've had a few days off to get started on our theology of missions homework and to recover which has been really nice because it's given us some time to really think about what's going to go on next year. It's almost set in stone, but I will be doing my B.A. in Christian Ministry with a concentration in Childhood studies at Briercrest next year - so I'm pretty pumped about that! Yet I am still working on what's going to happen during the summer, though right now I would absolutely love to stay here for 4 1/2 more months and see what God has in store for this camp but I cannot say that it is set in stone.
But what I do know it that our crew is leaving on thursday morning for the mainland to spend it at Missions Fest!! So very excited for that as we will be staying at a church and spending thursday touring around Vancouver (hmm...something that I've never done before!) and then both friday and saturday going to be filled with sessions and seminars!! So I'm looking forward to be seeing people and learning more about God's global mission...stoked!!
I think that this is all for now, adios amigos!
Sunday, 15 January 2012
{Power}
I've been back at camp for two weeks now, and I'm breathing in the fresh air, the space and the joy of being back. I love my mainland home with all my heart, but right now this is home to me, where I am discovering more than I could have ever dreamed and learning more things than I could have imagined. Maybe it's the freedom, maybe it's being challenged by my peers, just maybe I have finally taken a hold and discovered my faith on my own accord. Whatever it is, I am loving it here.
Already we have completed a class, organized and ran a youth event and are currently packing for our upcoming ski/snowboarding trip (There seems to be a certain pattern with me and procrastinating with packing...oh well!). Our first class back from the holidays as a 2nd year course concerning the Pauline Epistles. I was really looking forward to this class as I have always wanted to learn more about the man who was Paul and his books. However, though this class was enjoyable because the teacher was fairly funny, it wasn't what any of us had expected. It was not really a fair comparison, but I guess we unconsciously compared this teacher, Carl with that of our Gospels teacher, Wes (who had a masters degree in the gospel of Matthew, so we learned so much from him). When we realized that all we were doing in class was reading the Bible out loud (we absolutely love reading the Good Book, don't misunderstand me, but it's something that we can do on our own time) we became a little frustrated and quite bored (a little ashamed to say so, but that's the truth) - it was hard to be in that class and it was even harder to produce any motivation for the papers that were due afterwards. But we got it done and I'm looking very much forward to the next class: Theology of Mission which is at the end of the month and where I am going to get a taste of the what might lay ahead at Briercrest in September (I haven't decided what program I'm getting in to quite yet and currently the choice rests between early childhood education and global studies).
The next thing that happened on our schedule was the youth night. This was quite fun! We were in charge of certain parts of camp for one night and ran a night filled with worship, games, snacks and fun. I had the opportunity to work in registration and mug up (which is the camp lingo for night snack) which was a ton of fun with the people that I got to work with. Because I was a part of the kitchen staff for most of the night, I didn't really get the chance to see how the night went in its completion, but I have heard some awesome things from people who attended so I guess that I can dub it a success!!
Currently we are preparing for a week long trip to Mt. Washington for some awesome times of fun and bonding (it's hard to think that we could get any closer, but apparently we can!). I got to snowboard for the very first time this winter (thanks Elliot for being an awesome teacher!) and so I am actually looking forward to this trip rather than dreading it, though I am expecting a few bumps and bruises and for sure a sore, sore body.
There have been so many things that have been going on since I've been back, but the one thing that I have found is that it is so much easier to be me here. It was really good before the break, but the first 4 months was filled with trying to get to know everyone unlike this 2nd semester. It's just like a family of 21 people, brothers bugging the sisters and the sisters getting the brothers in trouble (Not that I have anything to do with that...), so there's so much here that I am truly thankful for and praise God completely with. There are some tough times, but because of that relationship we know that there is a deep love for one another to see each other being built up rather than being torn down.
God has been so gracious to me in the times where I stumble, in the times where I'm confused and frustrated and just plain naive. Even during the Pauline Epistles, when I thought I wouldn't really learn anything I have learned one of the profound things that I think that I have learned thus far in the program.
Acts 9:10-19 (Might want to read it before continuing) talks about a disciple named Ananias who was asked by God to lay hands upon Saul - a man who was persecuting Christianity, which was the exact faith in which Ananias followed. What struck me the most firstly was Ananias' response, like it's an everyday thing that God calls on him, "Here I am". That's something in which I need to do, even if it's only one time that God calls me to do something - "Here I am, send me" (Isaiah 6:8)
What hit me next was even more profound. You see, Ananias probably prayed for Paul with the hope that the persecution would stop - yet it never occurred to him that maybe God would use him to answer that prayer. It was this very man who was never heard of before, or since, that brought Paul's sight back and baptized him...it was Ananias who laid hands on the murderer of his friends and called him brother.
Recently I got a taste of what this is like though I didn't lay hands on a murderer. But rather I had the chance to be the answer to a prayer that was being prayed with an earnest heart. I have never felt so connected to the grace of God than that moment when I knew that I was 100% a part of God's Will for someone else. GOD IS SO GOOD! His power is more than what I have ever comprehended in my entire life, and it's slowly unfolding in front of my very eyes. I don't think that I have ever been so in love in my entire life!
Yet there is always, always room for prayer, there's kind of been a little bit of spiritual warfare going on though I have not yet really had a full on attack. There have been some reoccurring nightmares (nightmares themselves are rare for me in general, let alone reoccurring) that I have been experiencing and they've been very gruesome and graphic, so that's kind of been a little frightening. So please be in prayer for me and the whole group, that no matter where we are, that God's protection be on our hearts and minds and that we don't rely on our own flesh to take on this battle, but rather on the power of the Living God.
Also, another prayer is for my summer. I've had an offer of a full-time summer position here at camp in a leadership position and right now I'm not hearing anything concerning which path to take - whether to stay at camp for 4 more months (which means more fundraising and a possibility of a loan for Briercrest), or to go back to the mainland and work there. My desire is to follow what God's Will is, and I have had first hand experience that He will provide when the time comes - I just need to hear His voice so that I can respond with, "Here I am, send me"
I guess it's time to get back to packing!!
Love, Marissa
Already we have completed a class, organized and ran a youth event and are currently packing for our upcoming ski/snowboarding trip (There seems to be a certain pattern with me and procrastinating with packing...oh well!). Our first class back from the holidays as a 2nd year course concerning the Pauline Epistles. I was really looking forward to this class as I have always wanted to learn more about the man who was Paul and his books. However, though this class was enjoyable because the teacher was fairly funny, it wasn't what any of us had expected. It was not really a fair comparison, but I guess we unconsciously compared this teacher, Carl with that of our Gospels teacher, Wes (who had a masters degree in the gospel of Matthew, so we learned so much from him). When we realized that all we were doing in class was reading the Bible out loud (we absolutely love reading the Good Book, don't misunderstand me, but it's something that we can do on our own time) we became a little frustrated and quite bored (a little ashamed to say so, but that's the truth) - it was hard to be in that class and it was even harder to produce any motivation for the papers that were due afterwards. But we got it done and I'm looking very much forward to the next class: Theology of Mission which is at the end of the month and where I am going to get a taste of the what might lay ahead at Briercrest in September (I haven't decided what program I'm getting in to quite yet and currently the choice rests between early childhood education and global studies).
The next thing that happened on our schedule was the youth night. This was quite fun! We were in charge of certain parts of camp for one night and ran a night filled with worship, games, snacks and fun. I had the opportunity to work in registration and mug up (which is the camp lingo for night snack) which was a ton of fun with the people that I got to work with. Because I was a part of the kitchen staff for most of the night, I didn't really get the chance to see how the night went in its completion, but I have heard some awesome things from people who attended so I guess that I can dub it a success!!
Currently we are preparing for a week long trip to Mt. Washington for some awesome times of fun and bonding (it's hard to think that we could get any closer, but apparently we can!). I got to snowboard for the very first time this winter (thanks Elliot for being an awesome teacher!) and so I am actually looking forward to this trip rather than dreading it, though I am expecting a few bumps and bruises and for sure a sore, sore body.
There have been so many things that have been going on since I've been back, but the one thing that I have found is that it is so much easier to be me here. It was really good before the break, but the first 4 months was filled with trying to get to know everyone unlike this 2nd semester. It's just like a family of 21 people, brothers bugging the sisters and the sisters getting the brothers in trouble (Not that I have anything to do with that...), so there's so much here that I am truly thankful for and praise God completely with. There are some tough times, but because of that relationship we know that there is a deep love for one another to see each other being built up rather than being torn down.
God has been so gracious to me in the times where I stumble, in the times where I'm confused and frustrated and just plain naive. Even during the Pauline Epistles, when I thought I wouldn't really learn anything I have learned one of the profound things that I think that I have learned thus far in the program.
Acts 9:10-19 (Might want to read it before continuing) talks about a disciple named Ananias who was asked by God to lay hands upon Saul - a man who was persecuting Christianity, which was the exact faith in which Ananias followed. What struck me the most firstly was Ananias' response, like it's an everyday thing that God calls on him, "Here I am". That's something in which I need to do, even if it's only one time that God calls me to do something - "Here I am, send me" (Isaiah 6:8)
What hit me next was even more profound. You see, Ananias probably prayed for Paul with the hope that the persecution would stop - yet it never occurred to him that maybe God would use him to answer that prayer. It was this very man who was never heard of before, or since, that brought Paul's sight back and baptized him...it was Ananias who laid hands on the murderer of his friends and called him brother.
Recently I got a taste of what this is like though I didn't lay hands on a murderer. But rather I had the chance to be the answer to a prayer that was being prayed with an earnest heart. I have never felt so connected to the grace of God than that moment when I knew that I was 100% a part of God's Will for someone else. GOD IS SO GOOD! His power is more than what I have ever comprehended in my entire life, and it's slowly unfolding in front of my very eyes. I don't think that I have ever been so in love in my entire life!
Yet there is always, always room for prayer, there's kind of been a little bit of spiritual warfare going on though I have not yet really had a full on attack. There have been some reoccurring nightmares (nightmares themselves are rare for me in general, let alone reoccurring) that I have been experiencing and they've been very gruesome and graphic, so that's kind of been a little frightening. So please be in prayer for me and the whole group, that no matter where we are, that God's protection be on our hearts and minds and that we don't rely on our own flesh to take on this battle, but rather on the power of the Living God.
Also, another prayer is for my summer. I've had an offer of a full-time summer position here at camp in a leadership position and right now I'm not hearing anything concerning which path to take - whether to stay at camp for 4 more months (which means more fundraising and a possibility of a loan for Briercrest), or to go back to the mainland and work there. My desire is to follow what God's Will is, and I have had first hand experience that He will provide when the time comes - I just need to hear His voice so that I can respond with, "Here I am, send me"
I guess it's time to get back to packing!!
Love, Marissa
Sunday, 1 January 2012
A New Year
2012. Weird! As of right now, I am currently procrastinating my packing and passing the time trying to enjoy my last moments here at home (though I know that I would enjoy it more if I didn't have the whole packing thing looming over my head). However, I know that packing must come eventually so I'll keep this post short and (hopefully) sweet.
It's a brand new year and I'm excited for the things that God has planned for me in the upcoming months. I head back to Kaleo tomorrow and start a fresh with new expectations and new challenges, though I must admit I'm a little nervous about the challenges. But these past few weeks that I've had at home have been good for me...keeping me busy, and further forcing me out of the bubble that I had currently occupied while at school.
Being at home was not what I had expected, but I was so thankful for my family and my dear friends that I got to spend my time with. I have sorely missed this community and I though I feel that this holiday has been too quick, it is time for me to head back to the island.
Sometimes I feel that way: Where I want multiple worlds to come together so that distance is no longer an obstacle, however I have been labeled a "dreamer" more than a few times in my life to understand that this is not possible and I must accept change exactly as it presents itself: an altering in my journey.
But the joy that I have come across during my time here is that though it may be my journey, it's not my path that I follow. It's God's. He directs my path, no matter where I go - for good or for my own evil purposes - He transforms it into His Will and His goodness for those who trust in Him.
I don't really enjoy resolutions mainly because I'm often too stubborn to change my ways, however this year my resolution is that I grow more in my intimacy with Christ while reaching outwardly with His love and grace.
Happy New Year to you all!!
Love, Marissa
It's a brand new year and I'm excited for the things that God has planned for me in the upcoming months. I head back to Kaleo tomorrow and start a fresh with new expectations and new challenges, though I must admit I'm a little nervous about the challenges. But these past few weeks that I've had at home have been good for me...keeping me busy, and further forcing me out of the bubble that I had currently occupied while at school.
Being at home was not what I had expected, but I was so thankful for my family and my dear friends that I got to spend my time with. I have sorely missed this community and I though I feel that this holiday has been too quick, it is time for me to head back to the island.
Sometimes I feel that way: Where I want multiple worlds to come together so that distance is no longer an obstacle, however I have been labeled a "dreamer" more than a few times in my life to understand that this is not possible and I must accept change exactly as it presents itself: an altering in my journey.
But the joy that I have come across during my time here is that though it may be my journey, it's not my path that I follow. It's God's. He directs my path, no matter where I go - for good or for my own evil purposes - He transforms it into His Will and His goodness for those who trust in Him.
I don't really enjoy resolutions mainly because I'm often too stubborn to change my ways, however this year my resolution is that I grow more in my intimacy with Christ while reaching outwardly with His love and grace.
Happy New Year to you all!!
Love, Marissa
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
I'm Coming Home!
So it's about 5:30 am in the morning and I can't sleep so I thought that I'd do a little blog to pass the time before I actually get out of bed!
Two of my roommates left about an hour and a half ago for their flights, so we were up just so that we could say a final goodbye and Merry Christmas. There is already this vacant feeling in the room, sleeping in my own room again is going to be interesting without anybody else there.
However, it is indeed Christmas time and I am coming home today!! I am super excited and ready to be home and see my family and my friends again, it's been a while.
4 months has passed with me being in this program and I can still remember the very first day, it's incredible the amount of things that have happened and the experiences that I have gone through. God has been so present in my life teaching me, disciplining me, loving me and guiding me, He has opened my eyes to so many things that I would have never seen before and has revealed to me the things that I desperately need to change. I have found something so great here during my studies and during my devotions: The deeper I go into the Bible, the bigger my God becomes, the more powerful He is, the more merciful He is with me and the more righteous He is. It's not like He has ever changed, it's just my perspective on Him has and I have found a deeper desire to know His thoughts, His ways and His will. I have begun to learn how to have a two-way relationship with God, and though there is still so much that I need to learn, I have discovered so much joy in what I have experienced.
It hasn't been easy to say the least, mom has had to listen to a few crying sessions (indeed it's surprising, but I do cry) - trying to encourage me through sobs is a little difficult, but she has done well (thanks mom!). As I've learned from her, it's dealing with the heart matter that makes things so much more difficult and it's so true and I don't really like the process. However I've been encouraged here at camp that it's in the valleys is where God works the best, it's where His power shines brightest because it's in those valleys where I have to depend fully on God's promises that He uses everything to the good of those who love Him. I've learned through other people how suffering to bless is one of life's most interesting gifts. When we suffer, it opens doors to reach other people, to bless other people but first we must understand that we cannot suffer on our own, for we wouldn't make it. Just like in that famous poem, "footprints in the sand" it's during those times where we were carried, and because we were shown powerful love, we in turn can use those experiences to "carry" someone else - to love them through their pain.
God has also placed 3 incredible people in my life here at Kaleo to guide me and encourage me. My roommates. I cannot say enough about how much they mean to me, their tremendous influences have played a key role in helping to ground my faith and to depend more on God. We always seem to have fun, even on the difficult days: the boring-trying to trudge through a paper-stuck inside-wanting to tear your hair out frustrated-days. We each bring something to the table and it's amazing to me how we've made our differences work and even benefit each other. We've done some pretty awesome things this semester: build forts, make hammocks, buy a christmas tree (a little/fake one), have nerf gun wars, and most importantly begun a little tradition of reading a chapter of a book before bedtime (currently we're on C.S. Lewis' "The magicians nephew"--total bible school students, I know) and through all this we've learned so many things about each other - how to confront/admonish another (currently it involves a process with the nerf guns), how to encourage, how to listen and how to love one another.
Kaleo has taught me so much in this first semester and I pray that I can bring what I've learned home. For I've been in this little bubble for a while and there hasn't been too many distractions (or at least as many as there will be at home) so I've been able to focus my attention almost solely on seeking the kingdom of God and growing in that. Yet I know that my journey is not done, it will never be done. I still get to spend Christmas with family, something that I've been looking forward to, getting more excited as every day passes. I get to catch up with friends and make some more memories with them and I'll get to meet new friends and discover new memories with them as well.
I'm falling asleep again so I think this will be a goodbye - but there will be more coming.
See some of you in a few hours!!!!!
Two of my roommates left about an hour and a half ago for their flights, so we were up just so that we could say a final goodbye and Merry Christmas. There is already this vacant feeling in the room, sleeping in my own room again is going to be interesting without anybody else there.
However, it is indeed Christmas time and I am coming home today!! I am super excited and ready to be home and see my family and my friends again, it's been a while.
4 months has passed with me being in this program and I can still remember the very first day, it's incredible the amount of things that have happened and the experiences that I have gone through. God has been so present in my life teaching me, disciplining me, loving me and guiding me, He has opened my eyes to so many things that I would have never seen before and has revealed to me the things that I desperately need to change. I have found something so great here during my studies and during my devotions: The deeper I go into the Bible, the bigger my God becomes, the more powerful He is, the more merciful He is with me and the more righteous He is. It's not like He has ever changed, it's just my perspective on Him has and I have found a deeper desire to know His thoughts, His ways and His will. I have begun to learn how to have a two-way relationship with God, and though there is still so much that I need to learn, I have discovered so much joy in what I have experienced.
It hasn't been easy to say the least, mom has had to listen to a few crying sessions (indeed it's surprising, but I do cry) - trying to encourage me through sobs is a little difficult, but she has done well (thanks mom!). As I've learned from her, it's dealing with the heart matter that makes things so much more difficult and it's so true and I don't really like the process. However I've been encouraged here at camp that it's in the valleys is where God works the best, it's where His power shines brightest because it's in those valleys where I have to depend fully on God's promises that He uses everything to the good of those who love Him. I've learned through other people how suffering to bless is one of life's most interesting gifts. When we suffer, it opens doors to reach other people, to bless other people but first we must understand that we cannot suffer on our own, for we wouldn't make it. Just like in that famous poem, "footprints in the sand" it's during those times where we were carried, and because we were shown powerful love, we in turn can use those experiences to "carry" someone else - to love them through their pain.
God has also placed 3 incredible people in my life here at Kaleo to guide me and encourage me. My roommates. I cannot say enough about how much they mean to me, their tremendous influences have played a key role in helping to ground my faith and to depend more on God. We always seem to have fun, even on the difficult days: the boring-trying to trudge through a paper-stuck inside-wanting to tear your hair out frustrated-days. We each bring something to the table and it's amazing to me how we've made our differences work and even benefit each other. We've done some pretty awesome things this semester: build forts, make hammocks, buy a christmas tree (a little/fake one), have nerf gun wars, and most importantly begun a little tradition of reading a chapter of a book before bedtime (currently we're on C.S. Lewis' "The magicians nephew"--total bible school students, I know) and through all this we've learned so many things about each other - how to confront/admonish another (currently it involves a process with the nerf guns), how to encourage, how to listen and how to love one another.
Kaleo has taught me so much in this first semester and I pray that I can bring what I've learned home. For I've been in this little bubble for a while and there hasn't been too many distractions (or at least as many as there will be at home) so I've been able to focus my attention almost solely on seeking the kingdom of God and growing in that. Yet I know that my journey is not done, it will never be done. I still get to spend Christmas with family, something that I've been looking forward to, getting more excited as every day passes. I get to catch up with friends and make some more memories with them and I'll get to meet new friends and discover new memories with them as well.
I'm falling asleep again so I think this will be a goodbye - but there will be more coming.
See some of you in a few hours!!!!!
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