So it's about 5:30 am in the morning and I can't sleep so I thought that I'd do a little blog to pass the time before I actually get out of bed!
Two of my roommates left about an hour and a half ago for their flights, so we were up just so that we could say a final goodbye and Merry Christmas. There is already this vacant feeling in the room, sleeping in my own room again is going to be interesting without anybody else there.
However, it is indeed Christmas time and I am coming home today!! I am super excited and ready to be home and see my family and my friends again, it's been a while.
4 months has passed with me being in this program and I can still remember the very first day, it's incredible the amount of things that have happened and the experiences that I have gone through. God has been so present in my life teaching me, disciplining me, loving me and guiding me, He has opened my eyes to so many things that I would have never seen before and has revealed to me the things that I desperately need to change. I have found something so great here during my studies and during my devotions: The deeper I go into the Bible, the bigger my God becomes, the more powerful He is, the more merciful He is with me and the more righteous He is. It's not like He has ever changed, it's just my perspective on Him has and I have found a deeper desire to know His thoughts, His ways and His will. I have begun to learn how to have a two-way relationship with God, and though there is still so much that I need to learn, I have discovered so much joy in what I have experienced.
It hasn't been easy to say the least, mom has had to listen to a few crying sessions (indeed it's surprising, but I do cry) - trying to encourage me through sobs is a little difficult, but she has done well (thanks mom!). As I've learned from her, it's dealing with the heart matter that makes things so much more difficult and it's so true and I don't really like the process. However I've been encouraged here at camp that it's in the valleys is where God works the best, it's where His power shines brightest because it's in those valleys where I have to depend fully on God's promises that He uses everything to the good of those who love Him. I've learned through other people how suffering to bless is one of life's most interesting gifts. When we suffer, it opens doors to reach other people, to bless other people but first we must understand that we cannot suffer on our own, for we wouldn't make it. Just like in that famous poem, "footprints in the sand" it's during those times where we were carried, and because we were shown powerful love, we in turn can use those experiences to "carry" someone else - to love them through their pain.
God has also placed 3 incredible people in my life here at Kaleo to guide me and encourage me. My roommates. I cannot say enough about how much they mean to me, their tremendous influences have played a key role in helping to ground my faith and to depend more on God. We always seem to have fun, even on the difficult days: the boring-trying to trudge through a paper-stuck inside-wanting to tear your hair out frustrated-days. We each bring something to the table and it's amazing to me how we've made our differences work and even benefit each other. We've done some pretty awesome things this semester: build forts, make hammocks, buy a christmas tree (a little/fake one), have nerf gun wars, and most importantly begun a little tradition of reading a chapter of a book before bedtime (currently we're on C.S. Lewis' "The magicians nephew"--total bible school students, I know) and through all this we've learned so many things about each other - how to confront/admonish another (currently it involves a process with the nerf guns), how to encourage, how to listen and how to love one another.
Kaleo has taught me so much in this first semester and I pray that I can bring what I've learned home. For I've been in this little bubble for a while and there hasn't been too many distractions (or at least as many as there will be at home) so I've been able to focus my attention almost solely on seeking the kingdom of God and growing in that. Yet I know that my journey is not done, it will never be done. I still get to spend Christmas with family, something that I've been looking forward to, getting more excited as every day passes. I get to catch up with friends and make some more memories with them and I'll get to meet new friends and discover new memories with them as well.
I'm falling asleep again so I think this will be a goodbye - but there will be more coming.
See some of you in a few hours!!!!!
