Perfect love casts out fear

I would be comfortable, uncomfortably comfortable.

This was my response to a questioned posed to me about prayer: If every prayer that I had prayed in the past week came true, what would happen? Would the world dramatically change? Would people turn towards God? Would the evil in human hearts diminish and compassion put in its place?
Nope. Instead it would be me that would be the comfortable one.
This is something that I've been chewing over for a while now and realized that I feel more connected to God's global mission when I chose to pray for things that don't involve me at all, or some things that I don't fully comprehend. Trying to see the world in the way that Christ would see it has proven a lot more difficult than I had anticipated and much more heart-breaking than I realized it would be. I'm a part of this broken world, I'm human and I make mistakes, I'm stubborn and I hate change, I find forgiveness hard and the healing process even harder.  A song called, "Jesus, Friend of sinners" and has a line in the lyrics that goes: "Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers". I find myself quick to judge someone and then slow to realize how blatantly I've disregarded their life not to be a life that God is working in too.

But once again, God is patiently waiting for me. He's got His hand out, ready to show me the different things that I would miss if I continued to be as arrogant as I deem myself to be. For example, this past friday I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to go to our youth group that night. I was using the excuses that I was worn down from Camp and Youth Ministry class that we'd just wrapped up and that no one would be there anyways and that it just wouldn't be a success because we had absolutely nothing planned.
For you see, the previous week for youth, we brought nerf guns and had a nerf gun war. The three of us leaders thought that this would be the best thing ever, but our two guys thought otherwise seeing as they got bored within the first hour. It's been a struggle having only 2 guys who are very much ADD in the youth group because we're limited to so little, but it was this friday night that God gave me a little kick in the pants and showed me how funny He really can be when I choose to be stubborn.
We had settled on watching a movie (lamest plan ever, but we were desperate!) and set out to Lake Cowichan Baptist church. However, on the way there we drove by a firehall - we drive by this firehall every time, but it was this time that Nancy had the brilliant idea that we should ask if we could have a tour! Pretty exciting stuff, till we found out that the Chief was in Victoria and couldn't give us a tour, but now we have his email address and an invitation to visit again...that's going to be one awesome youth night :) Anyways, so we're now at church waiting for the boys and we're back to square zero of having an adventurous night.
Yet the unexpected happened. The boys came in and the mom was talking about a medical emergency that they had to attend to before coming here. Worried I asked what happened and Nate, the younger of the two (he's 14 I believe) revealed the evidence in a small tupperware container: 3 premature baby mice. Yep, 3 premature baby mice - you read that right. Apparently one of their cats killed a pregnant mouse and he realized that the babies could still be saved so he performed a c-section on the dead mother mouse with a kitchen knife (yep you're also reading this right!) and actually managed to get them out and save them.
They were so tiny and helpless, you could actually see their beating hearts through the skin! Nancy and Jon apparently were thinking that they wouldn't make it through to the end of the night, but I was hoping for a little more. It wasn't until Nate said that He prayed to Jesus that He would save them did I pray a little more earnestly that they wouldn't die - seeing as I didn't feel that I should be the one to talk about death and life to him. But I also felt myself praying for something different here, I was praying that God would speak to Nate through these 3 babies and that I could be there to help him if I could.
So we googled how to take care of premature mice and set out to make them more warmer and did the little that we could with the resources that we had available. Throughout the night as we were watching the movie I kept noticing how attentive Nate was to the mice and how much he wanted to make sure that they were ok. What also surprised me was that those 3 mice started moving and squeaking, there was one mouse in particular which I thought was the weakest one but he was the first to make a sound and moved the most which I thought was remarkable.
By the end of the night I was basically speechless with what God had taught me. While I was stubborn in my unwillingness to go, I discovered a gift that God would teach me only through someone like Nate:
There is hope. Hope is never lost. By the end of the night I thought that those mice could make it at least through the first night maybe even the weekend - they could experience life and compassion from a boy all the more willing to care for them. I knew Nate was a sweet kid but I hadn't been expecting something so profound to come from such an incident as a cat killing a mouse. He took the time to notice and was able to keep life going.
Another thing that struck me led me back to Matthew 6:26. If God cares for the tiniest of mice,

how much more therefore are we?

God is so good! In so many ways, and also currently in preparation for our missions trip. Recently I've been expressing my fear to God about Mexico and not feeling that I can do this at all. Thankfully God has assured me that I can't do it at all...fantastic (there was a little bit of a sarcastic ring to that when I figured that out.), yet He told me to not fear. 1 John 4:18 talks about perfect love casting out fear. I realized that I hadn't been relying enough on Him and His perfect love in my life, and now that I am beginning to understand, I'm currently trying to figure out how to let go entirely of myself and cling to God...I let you know what happens if I can.


How much more therefore...

Prayer

Hey everyone!! 

Haven't heard from me in a while and I apologize, I keeping meaning to, but as I've learned: sometimes just having the intentions doesn't mean that it's going to get done so I'm making myself sit just for a moment or two. 

Things have been as they have almost always been basically since the beginning of the program, busy. I don't mind it at all, in fact I quite enjoy it now --- it keeps me, well, busy (I know, I'm just so original in my word choice!) it gives me a glimpse of how reality is and how I desperately need discipline in order to get things done. And to start off the month of February I've decided to do a "1,000". I heard about this through Erin, our Assistant Kaleo leader that some people she knew would do a thousand push-ups in a month, a thousand…(you fill in the blanks). There was one guy who decided to do 1,000 prayers in one month and this was something that peaked my interest, because I know that my prayer life was lacking when it should be the strongest discipline that I have because it's my conversation with God. So I decided that this month of February, the month of missions (We had theology of missions class, we went to missions fest, and are going on a 2 week missions trip in 8 days) I would attempt at this 1,000 prayers in 29 days. And so far I haven't really been super successful (oh dear, my poor intentions!!). However I've come to learn the immense value of prayers and how much more quickly I resort to speaking to God wherever I am - while eating, reading, just getting out of bed, having  a conversation or just doing nothing at all (when I probably should be doing homework or something along those lines…). God has been ever patient with me during this process and He's been gracious in His answer to my prayers. I'm still attempting to reach my goal by the end of the month, but I'm hoping by then that I won't even need to count, because my prayers will never cease. 

As an example of an answered prayer, I know which program I am going to do at Briercrest: Christian Ministry with a concentration in Childhood studies, with a roommate who is going to be doing the exact same program as me which I find to be such an amazing gift and I can't wait… oh how God's work can be so simple but still so wondrous!! As for my summer, I will be coming home - I will not be working full-time as a core staff here at Camp Qwanoes. What lies ahead for my summer, I haven't quite figured out, but I am really looking forward to coming home and being able to see family (including Amy in June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and friends. There's a few jobs lined up so I'm just continuing to wait on God and see Him work, because I know He's the only one who will provide. 

I have also mentioned going to on a missions trip in 8 days. I know I haven't spoken much about that due to the fact that I didn't even have much information, but now that it's almost here, I will be heading to Papalote, Mexico (so small you can't find it on Google maps - I tried…it doesn't even exist!! Just kidding!). Our crew, which is 8 people plus our leader are heading down to do who knows what! The schedule is extremely flexible and we are prepared to what is needed, but as of right now I will be leading one children's event (for 50-70 kids), and helping out with two other events that will be happening. We're not building anything because we've learned that Mexicans with a "bigger" or "more expensive" house actually get taxed more, so we will be doing renovations for the locals there. We're going to be staying in a local college that trains young people to be leaders and pastors and working with them to reach out to the community. I am very excited, and though I am not sure what to expect what is going to go on, I know that with whatever happens, God's got it under control - I prefer that idea over the fact of having anyone else in control!

So I'm just asking you to pray for me and my crew which includes: Kathleen, Stacey, Alisha, Michael, Keith, Trevor, Matthew and Bec our leader. Please be praying for safe travel and health. But most importantly please be praying for us as we join in God's mission for His people in Papalote, that we may find delight in whatever we do, that we will be a light while working together as the Body of Christ, showing the love of our Father to those who so desperately need it. Also, please be praying for "lighthouse ministries" (which is the organization that we will be working under while there) as they open up their ministry to us and allow us to come alongside them - please pray that we can be a blessing to them and that God will continue to provide for them in ways that even they cannot comprehend. 


Time is slowly winding down here in the last 2 1/2 months of the program, and I'm looking forward to the last moments that we as a crew have together and relishing in the goodness of God in what He has for me right now through the relationships that I've developed, the lessons that I've learned and the joy that I've experienced. I love it here and I'm so thankful that I didn't miss this opportunity, so thank you to those who have continued to support me throughout my time here - God has definitely used you to speak into my life and I can only just say thanks for everything you've done. 


Guess it's time to get back to paper writing...I just wanted to say thanks :)