Yet the problem is, I am trying to sum up a life-changing year into something that will not lose the attention of the other person. I am always tempted to tell them, "you have to be there to experience it". And in a way, that is what it comes down to. No one will understand fully what we've all been through: The struggles, the triumphs, the laughter and tears. As hard as I tried this year to provide the stories and the different aspects of life here on the island, I know that there was so much more that could have been said, and still there would be no real comprehension.
But in the same way, this year is not about what people cannot understand, it's about what God is capable of doing when we are intentional about our learning and our actions. I've learned about how we are not called to be anything but faithful to who God is and hold fast to His promises and power in the times when we just cannot seem to see the end. I've learned to pray, the power of prayer and why we are called to prayer. I've learned the value of community and the need to have people who are learning and growing alongside you.
I have learned to hold certain things with an open hand, while in the other, holding them with a closed fist (building of sound doctrine and letting go of the things that are not biblical but rather cultural beliefs). I have learned that I will always be learning. I have learned that I will always be growing. In fact there are some things that I have had to unlearn this year and as hard as that has been, I know that it leaves room for God to work in my life more richly.
It is weird being back home to be honest. It's almost like culture shock. I know that the year that I have had is not meant for only for the year that I took it, but rather for this upcoming year, and the one to follow and the one to follow after that...in fact it's a spring board for the rest of my life. I have seen the power of God work in so many ways, I know that He is truth and I know that He is good and sovereign. I have a whole life ahead of me and I know that this past year at Camp Qwanoes is not the be all and end all. In fact, I know that God has greater things in store for me and it starts with this summer and the adventures that await me here.
For some of you who have been wondering and praying for our group while we were dealing with the death of Keith's sister, we found out last thursday that she took her own life. No one knows why, and they probably will never know. But to hear Keith's testimony was probably one of the greatest things that I have witnessed all year. He told us of how he saw God working in his family while he was home - his 11 year old brother needing to grow up quickly but developing a thirst for God's Word, his 13 year old sister who was the closest to Meghan was strong in her faith before, and after her world was flipped upside down, she re-evaluated her faith and clung on to what she knew was truth - God. His mom was always the one who was strong for everyone else, providing for others in their time of need. This time it was her grief and her indescribable pain that she need to be comforted and she allowed herself to be carried. That is where Keith's dad came in. Despite his own pain, he carried his wife and his family. He knew he had to lead, but he didn't know where, only that God was the one to lead them. At the funeral, he got up and started with, "God is good all the time, God is good all the time. I do not know how far I will get today, but I wanted to start with the most important things."
God sustains this family and Keith. This we know and we see it so evidently. Despite their pain, God has a plan, a perfect and good plan for them and they know this. We know that we will see Meghan again, her faith was strong, she believed. I thank you for those who have been praying for us, God has had his hand in it and we build our strength from that.
God.
He has been the reason for everything - not just in this year, but in everything. I do not know what I can say that can truly sum up what I've learned about Him this year. What I have come to understand is that I have learned less and less about Hims the more I spend in His Word and in His creation. What I mean by this is that my knowledge of Him grows, and that knowledge consists of His omnipotence, omnipresence, transcendency, omniscience, holiness. What I also mean is that I have no knowledge of what these are in their comparison to myself, all I know is that they are beyond my understanding - and therefore I have come to know less and less about God. I cannot put God in a box, nor can I fit Him in a church. He is here as much as He was on the island.
I have grown in my thirst for scripture and my need to seek God on a daily basis. I am not perfect (my lack of communication definitely reflects that!) I have nothing to offer, my hands are empty. Yet little is much when God's in it, and I know that I am worth everything according to Christ despite what I lack.
My thanks to you for supporting me on this journey cannot be given enough. All the letters, the cards, the finances, the phone calls, emails, prayers and thoughts have all been so very appreciated they gave me little pieces of home that I could take with me in my time at camp.
I am excited to be home and am so ready to see what God has in store for everyone here.
Our motto this past year was to "Step Out" with Isaiah 43:1-3 as our guide. Being a disciple in Christ, we are called to great things, but we need to give our apprehensions over to him and step out. We know that life is going to be hard, but we have God as our stronghold.
"But now thus says the LORD,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not
overwhelm you;
when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
We are loved by a great God, when we experience troubles in our life, we are not abandoned. We belong, we have a God who is personal and will stop at nothing to call you His own, His children, His beloved.
Amen.
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